31 - Breaking Free: Finding Direction and Getting Support

Have you ever caught yourself questioning the happiness in your marriage, feeling like you're looking through a distorted lens? I've been there, and that's why our final chapter in the Breaking Free series is essential listening for anyone eager to discover joy in their relationship again. As your host, I pull back the curtain on the illusions that cloud our view of love, and I share my journey towards accountability and altered perceptions. This episode isn't just about finding problems—it's about fixing them and fostering the kind of marriage that buzzes with health and happiness.

This heart-to-heart is your invitation to the support that could reshape your relationship. From the comfort of your favorite nook with that glass of wine in hand, let's explore the myriad ways you can seek help - from the solitary reflection prompted by self-help books to the solidarity found in social media groups, or the professional insights a therapist can offer. Personal stories intertwine with practical advice to illuminate the path to a revitalized partnership. So lean in, dear listener, as we embrace this transformative quest together, breaking free from unhappiness and unlocking a future where your marriage doesn't just survive—it thrives.

You can find me on both Facebook and Instagram @Art.Of.Sia. If you are interested in one-one coaching, please visit my website www.ArtOfSia.com.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:03

Hello and welcome. This is Naya with Art of Sia. Today is Mwiney Wednesdays and I am so thankful you have decided to spend a little bit of your time with me today. Welcome back to all of my followers. I so much appreciate your support. If this is your first time here, please understand that.

Speaker 1: 0:37

Art of Sia focuses on real key ideas Sea planting, recognizing illusions and acts of kindness. I am working with women in order for us to realize that many of our relationship issues we have contributed to and I want us to be happily married. Life is about perception and once you look at something in a slightly different way, it can actually change the way that you view it and think on it. There are many illusions out there and it is my goal is to get you all to begin to recognize them so that you understand that your relationships are fixable, they are healthy and they can lead to great happiness. Tonight I am going to conclude the Breaking Free series, where we are talking about getting free from our current state of unhappiness and what is it that we can do to start the path to happily married? In the first Breaking Free episode, I talked about belief, that being the first step to happily ever after. You must believe it is obtainable in order for you to succeed. That is first and foremost. Then I went into look at anger. Look at what you have done, what you have not done, and take accountability for that. Allow yourself to get angry so that you may hit rock bottom. When you are there, I need for you to sit and allow yourself some time at rock bottom, to feel it, get angry with yourself for allowing your marriage, under your watch, to get to the place that it is in. And then, lastly, today we are going to talk about getting help. That is going to be the third way that we are actually going to break free from this cycle of unhappiness. So, grab your favorite glass of wine, get comfortable and let's get to it.

Speaker 1: 3:09

Alright, so, breaking Free, getting the help that you need what does that look like for you? Well, for me, it was self help books. I read a lot of them. I did the workbooks, I did the diaries and the different steps that were outlined in these books, so that I could actually get focused and understand what I needed to do. I knew I wanted to get out of that place and I knew that my relationship, that my marriage, was worth saving. It wasn't a bad marriage. I was just unhappy I was looking at things the wrong way, right? So I needed help to understand that the perception that my husband was ignoring me or was unattentive was just not accurate. Everything that he was doing was actually for me and the family, and that this period of time where we were at our lowest was a period of time of sacrifice. It was a period of time of growth. Okay, so that is. What spoke to me were self help books.

Speaker 1: 4:26

In today's society, there are so many different avenues. You have different podcasts hey, you're listening to me right now, right? You have different Social media groups on Facebook. There's a ton of groups out there. Maybe you need to get involved in one of those groups and speak with like-minded individuals or not necessarily like-minded individuals. Reach out to some groups that maybe have a more positive Mind set so that you can start to transform your thinking from a negative space into a positive one. Okay, um, you have therapy. Of course, there are always good therapists out there. There are Individual therapists and you can also go to couples therapy. That might be a perfect Place for you.

Speaker 1: 5:18

Maybe some of the issues that you have, although you know that you have a good husband and you want to be married To each other. Some of the issues are just so, so deeply rooted in your core that you can't Find a way out. Maybe some of the things that have happened in the past. Although you want to get over them, you just don't have the tools to do that. They've hurt you so deep that Someone has to help you Uncover why you're feeling so strongly about Whatever that situation is, and how does that actually Translate into? Maybe something that you've gone through in your past Um, that actually got reintroduced to you as an adult? Okay, so there are some great therapists out there. Grab one, go talk to them. Today is the day. It is a new year.

Speaker 1: 6:15

What I'm afraid is going to happen is that you're going to look up, and it's going to be 2025, and you're going to have done nothing to actually move forward in your marriage. You've Got the right mindset that you want to save it. Don't waste any more time Continuing down the path that you're going down, and what I mean by that is you're trying to do it this way and it's not working. So you need to change the way that you're doing it, not to give up on your goal, not to start thinking that your goal is unobtainable, but to actually change the way that you are, are operating and um, and get some new tools that you can use. Okay, um, therapy is one Different coaching, right? So therapists and a coach were actually different. Where a therapist is going to help you uncover some things in the past and help you to relate them to how you behave now as a A person, as an individual, as a wife, as a mother some of the things that have happened in your childhood, they did. They help you to uncover some of that, right? So not to say that a coach cannot necessarily do that. The coaching has a little different, different perspective to where it's taking the here and the now right now, and it's going to help you obtain a goal that you want. So where, as A therapist is going to uncover why you behave this way as a wife Maybe what you saw your mother doing with your father A coach is going to say, okay, you've made a decision to Be a better wife and these are the things that we're going to work toward so that you can become that person.

Speaker 1: 8:04

Okay, let's go ahead real quick now and just take a really short winery, because I am going to really try to wrap this up. I'm not Not Feeling very well. I've got a little nasal thing going on here. I hope it's not Translating in my voice too much, but let's see. So today, one Wednesday now I I'm not sure if I am going to do a dry January or what. I have not figured that out yet but I do feel like I cannot drink every day like I was doing. Yes, I would have one to two glasses. Let me stop lying. I would have two glasses of wine, of wine, every day, like clockwork, and that's too much. I need to stop and put down the bottle. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I haven't made my particular goal yet, but it is not going to be every day. The one thing that I have done for this New Year's resolution is I've decided that my mantra remember I talked about giving yourself a mantra a little while ago is an hour a day. One hour a day toward my goal. Whatever my goal is, whether it's an exercise goal, I have those a lot because I'm a yo-yo dieter and a yo-yo exerciser, so those will constantly come up in my life because I never really obtained that goal.

Speaker 1: 9:37

Okay, so since I don't have any wine with me today, I thought it would be kind of interesting to do a little fun wine facts. Okay, so did you all know that the world's leading court producer is Portugal? That I did know, considering I had just gotten back to Portugal. So, early Roman women were forbidden to drink wine and a husband who found his wife drinking was at liberty to kill her. Okay, no wonder we have so many issues in our marriages. Oh my God, he could kill his wife if she was drinking wine. Oh my God, I'm good as dead. All right, the Romans once used lead to mix with their wine. No wonder they were crazy. I get it. It makes sense now. Screw caps on wine bottles were popularized in Australia and New Zealand.

Speaker 1: 10:50

There are a known 10,000 grape varieties throughout the world. 10,000, that is a lot. On average, there are about 75 grapes in each cluster. That's interesting. One grape cluster equals one glass of wine. So take 75 grapes in order to make a glass of wine. The champagne bubbles are actually formed inside of the bottle. You actually smell the wine more than you taste it. You need to drink seven glasses of orange juice or 20 glasses of apple juice in order to get the same amount of antioxidants in wine. Okay, I'm going to repeat that you need to drink seven glasses of orange juice or 20 glasses of apple juice in order to get the same amount of antioxidants. That's why they say wine is actually good for your health, in moderation, of course. A glass of red wine after dinner every night can reduce the risk of heart disease. Note, it said a glass of wine.

Speaker 1: 12:13

Women are more inclined to the effects of wine than men. This is partly because they have less enzymes in their stomach lining that are needed to break down alcohol simply. Oh, my goodness, I had never heard of such a thing. Interesting, all right.

Speaker 1: 12:30

So before the break, we revisited the series of Breaking Free. One was belief that you can be happily married, then allowing anger to help you through to the path of overcoming this unhappy state that you're currently in. And then, finally, we are actually going to get the help that we need, whether it is from a therapist, a coach, whether it is going to be a self help book or a podcast, whatever you need to get you through. That is what I want you to do this new year. Stop doing the same old, same old. It's not working. Do not give up on your goal. Just, you need to use different tools in order to obtain those goals. Okay, all right.

Speaker 1: 13:21

Now the one thing that I am going to do differently I know you guys are probably wondering what that is is I was talking to my girlfriend the other day and we were discussing vision boards. I've never done one, for some reason. I just always feel like I'll set a goal and I never really obtained that goal, and so she's like oh well, maybe your goals just changed. Now she is a licensed therapist, so she is allowing me to change my goal. Where me, the coach and me it was like no, stick to your goal. Stop giving up your goal because it becomes a hard. Don't stop doing it. You've got to be accountable for it and continue to work towards that goal, not change it and get a new goal, okay. So she's like why don't you go ahead and maybe consider doing a vision board? So that is what I am actually going to do. I have different relationship goals, financial goals, professional growth goals that I have that I feel like it is time for me to write these down, put them on a vision board that I am going to put up in my office so that I can look at it and hopefully, this time next year, my mantra an hour a day will help me achieve some of the goals that I am going to identify. Okay, all right, so go ahead and figure out what it is that you need to do this year. It is here, and I want you all to continue to thrive and to be happy in your marriage, as time is a wasting.

Speaker 1: 15:06

Please remember as we wrap up today, that if you need to reach me for anyone on what? Coaching? If you find out that, yes, you want to hook up with me, please go ahead and instant message me on my socials. I'm at artofca, that's S-I-A. You can also go onto the website, artofcacom. There is a free consultation button up in the right hand corner. Go ahead and click on that. There's a contact me page. If you would like to go ahead and fill out that form in any way you would like to do it, I am here for you. I do know a couple of good relationship therapists. If you feel that therapy is something that you need to embark on, please, please, reach out and I can pass on that information to you. Good luck, may God bless each and every one of you and, until next time, take care of each other.